


rainbow road, three wario courses and fancy by twice

by rintsumu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fancy by TWICE, Gen, Mario Kart, Trans Sakusa Kiyoomi, because they have taste!!!!!, even tho it's only implied but im fuming make that a tag, i think that i am funnier than i am, lots of swearing that's why it's teen, seriously thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27786166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rintsumu/pseuds/rintsumu
Summary: atsumu wants to play mario kart and kiyoomi doesn't want to come over. osamu is easy to bother and just as competitive as he is.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Kudos: 48





	rainbow road, three wario courses and fancy by twice

**Author's Note:**

> ive been playing too much mario kart and i love the miyas send tweet  
> like,, i really wish i could explain this other than that. but no. i wrote them being shit at mario kart for the happy sensation over the course of a weekend when i had two L A R G E assignments to do. hope Somebody enjoys this as much i still do  
> ps does it show that i had No Fucking Clue what to title this?? HSJDHGFHDJ

_"but omi-kun!"_

_"atsumu. travelling three hours by train to hyogo to play mario kart with you, in the dead of night-"_ atsumu huffs, but kiyoomi keeps talking- _"will not help with my cramps."_

_"but i could give ya cuddles when ya lose!"_

kiyoomi hangs up the phone. atsumu figures that he probably deserved that.

with no kiyoomi left to bother- he declines the next seven of atsumu's calls(not that atsumu is counting, not at all) and sends a message that reads _"stop calling me."_ , so atsumu thinks that maybe he should- he moves onto his next target. 

_"'samu!"_

bursting into osamu's room, he throws open the curtains. the effect of sunlight shining onto osamu to wake him up is lost, since it's 12 midnight, and atsumu is disappointed by this. however, the effect of atsumu yelling at him from a metre away is not, and osamu groans.

_"shut the fuck up, 'm asleep."_

_"sleepin' people don't talk to me, 'samu, i've tried with omi-kun!"_

_"he was probably just ignorin' ya."_

_"probably!"_

atsumu's bright tone doesn't fade as he stares at osamu, who has, up to this point, refused to open his eyes. 

_"stop fuckin' starin' at me, it's weird."_

atsumu makes a point of continuing to stare, and osamu groans, sitting up and rubbing at his face.

_"what the fuck do ya want?"_

_"wanna play mario kart?"_

osamu turns to look at atsumu, his eyes wide open. genuine shock fills them, but his tone, venomous, doesn't reflect that at all as he says,

_"ya woke me up at midnight to play mario kart?"_

atsumu nods quickly, smiling widely, then throws his hands up in front of his face as osamu grabs a pillow threateningly. he proceeds to hurl it, but only as soon as atsumu's lowered his guard over his face. atsumu whines, rubbing his cheeks and sniffling jokingly, and osamu grins, laying back down and closing his eyes.

_"deserved. now i'm goin' back to sleep. leave me alone, and close the door when ya go."_

atsumu takes a breath in, steeling himself for what he's about to say. if he says it, there's no going back. he prays mentally that osamu doesn't throw another pillow- he doesn't know if he'll recover after not one, but two pillow attacks to the face. what if kiyoomi thinks he's ugly, and breaks up with him? what if he loses his thrilling good looks, and suddenly osamu is left to bear the heavy burden of the more attractive twin? the risk is great, but atsumu's will to play mario kart and beat someone to shreds(despite his highest finish of 5th) is even greater.

_"ok, suna kinnie. ya just don't wanna lose."_

_"like i'd lose to yer bitchass! and i do not kin rin!"_

osamu sits up, and atsumu grins. getting a rise out of his brother is rewarding, right now, for two reasons. the first is a constant- it's really funny. the second is because as soon as osamu gets invested in an argument, he'll see it through(just like atsumu will, but this isn't about him) and eventually, _eventually_ , this will lead to them playing mario kart.

_"yeah ya do! ever since ya started dating ya started sleeping way more! he's rubbin' off on ya, 'samu."_

_"like you didn't start cleanin' a shit ton more 'cause of sakusa? why can't ya just play with him, anyway?"_

atsumu sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry(because he's mature).

_"i'm allowed to! omi-kun hates germs! and he said he's on his period and he's got cramps and he doesn't wanna come."_

_"so i'm the second option? way to give yerself away, dumbass. i don't blame him, anyway."_

_"ya thought ya were my favourite?"_

atsumu's tone is filled with humour and he applauds himself in his head as osamu climbs out of bed.

(he makes a point to ignore that osamu's being rude about his boyfriend, because for all that kiyoomi acts annoyed by atsumu, they've already established that he is entirely fine with atsumu being clingy, and would definitely come over to play mario kart with atsumu at any time of day- if he weren't on his period. kiyoomi would totally kick his ass at mario kart, though. atsumu doesn't bring up that osamu's own boyfriend would be less likely to come over than his, because he's so close to hearing what he needs to, and pissing off osamu- though very fun- would be very counterproductive right now.)

_"yer gonna like me even less when i shit on yer mario kart skills."_

(and hence, atsumu takes his win. he knows how to get what he wants when it comes to his twin. he doesn't acknowledge that they both suck at the game.)

-

_"what fuckin' course do ya wanna play, dickwad? i'm gonna beat ya, leave ya sobbin', and go back to bed."_

_"the cheese one. i don't know what it's called."_

_"we are not playin' the fuckin' cheese course. it's shit."_

atsumu offers osamu an offended look, and his twin brother stares at him blankly in return, as though he's entirely serious about disliking cheese land. 

(it almost makes atsumu sad how wrong he is. he'd never thought that anybody could be so wrong as to dislike the cheese course.)

_"it's the best course!"_

_"the best course is wario's gold mine."_

_"yer so wrong, shitface."_

_"am not!"_

_"are!"_

-

their final decision is randomised courses(since they can't agree on the superior course- atsumu remains adamant that it's cheese land, while osamu continues to defend wario's gold mine. truthfully, neither of them are good at either course. it takes them significantly longer than they'd like to admit to finally agree on computer generated courses, but if that were brought up, they'd just argue about their favourites again). 

osamu shouts triumphantly as the first computer selected course comes up on screen. _wario's gold mine_ , it reads, and atsumu grits his teeth, genuinely angry.

_"even the fuckin' switch thinks yer wrong, 'tsumu."_

_"shut the fuck up."_

atsumu is seething as the countdown appears on screen. he holds down the A button as soon as the "3" on the screen appears, pushing extremely forcefully, and osamu, not one to be outdone, copies his brother. they both promptly overheat, watching the computer players race past them, and miya atsumu and miya osamu start the race in the much-sought positions of 10th and 8th respectively.

_"yer so shit at this game, 'samu,"_

atsumu taunts, even as he drives his character- princess daisy in the mercedes GLA sponsored kart- off the course as soon as it begins to go downhill. osamu growls, really growls, and atsumu laughs darkly as his brother's choice of bowser in the pipeline kart gets caught on someone else's dropped banana and proceeds to twirl around on the course, allowing atsumu to overtake him. 

daisy enters the tunnel and atsumu groans as the bats on the course run into her. a cheer from osamu does nothing to lighten his mood, not when he's right next to him, and not when he's now in the lead(of the two of them, anyway) again. 

_"i'm totally kickin' yer ass at this,"_

atsumu elbows osamu hard in the chest, and osamu starts wheezing. while he isn't wrong, osamu's 7th place to atsumu's 9th is nothing to be proud of in particular, but either way atsumu feels that the action he chose to take was necessary for his impending victory(that he knows will come, because only pussies lose to osamu).

osamu fixes him with a strong glare, and atsumu takes advantage of his lack of focus on the screen to pull himself into a valiant 8th place, driving through an item box. he gets an invincibility star, and presses the ZL button on his controller as soon as it loads in the top left of his half of the tv screen. osamu gets hit by a green shell that comes from the player behind atsumu, and he falls into 10th. atsumu laughs wildly, and osamu starts to splutter his complaints.

_"yer a cheatin' bastard! where do the rules fuckin' say you can elbow yer opponent?"_

atsumu looks away from the game for a second, not remembering to make sure that he's going straight forward as he faces osamu, humour in his eyes.

_"where do they say ya can't do that?"_

daisy falls off the course, and osamu overtakes him again.

-

atsumu finishes in 11th( _"ya know, for a sponsored kart, it isn't that good. like am i gonna buy a car that isn't even good in mario kart? i don't fuckin' think_ _so!"_ ), after driving off the course a total number of 8 times(when he recounts this to kiyoomi later, he's very confusedly asked how on earth he managed to do so that many times on a three minute course. to this he responds- _"it was the worst course in the game, omi-kun!"_ osamu's indignant shouts from the room next to his- a mixture of _"go the fuck to sleep!"_ and _"'s better than shitty cheese land!"_ \- don't fail to reach his ears). it puts his points total at the extreme _2_ , which osamu thinks is very funny. his 5 points(from his impressive 8th), in his opinion, put his twin to shame. 

the next course to load in is _wario stadium_ , and-

_"what is this switch, a fuckin' wario stan?"_

osamu laughs a little, but the glint in his eyes isn't mirthful as he looks at atsumu dead on.

_"maybe it just knows what the best courses are."_

atsumu's fists ball up around his controller and it's only as osamu points out that he's getting angry(well, his exact words are actually _"are ya just pissed that yer wrong, 'tsumu? want me to call yer pretty boyfriend to tell ya that yer not?"_ , though the main offence that atsumu takes from that is how osamu calls kiyoomi pretty when he is very clearly handsome instead, which he makes sure to point out to his useless twin) that he loosens his grip on it. 

(if princess daisy were tangible or at all affected by the strength of the player's grip on the controller, she would be in shards. thankfully, she remains intact as the course loads in, and as atsumu holds down the A button far too early yet again, her mercedes GLA overheats for the second course in a row. across the screen, bowser's pipeline kart does the same, and atsumu starts in 7th with osamu in 8th.)

atsumu's hell begins as osamu throws his first red shell of the race, knocking atsumu and sending him spinning across the course. he huffs loudly as he loses the 3 coins he'd already gathered and loses his valued 7th, falling into 11th. determined to not start his second course how he'd finished the first one(even though the game is programmed so that that's exactly what happens), he presses the ZR button and drifts surprisingly cleanly around the first two twists. levelling with osamu, they fight for 9th(after osamu fell back from 8th, trying to keep his position but failing after a valiant loss to baby peach's hastily dropped banana). 

hitting item boxes at the same time, the two boys push each other back and forth across the course. osamu's red shell loads in and he presses ZL just before atsumu is able to hold his banana behind him with the same button, and atsumu takes a hit, losing 3 more coins and starting the race again in 12th, which he notices with an indignant groan.

he does not spare osamu what he thinks of him.

_"yer a cheap slut, 'samu."_

osamu grins.

_"acceptin' defeat already?"_

_"never."_

and atsumu holds himself to his own word, trying his utmost to overtake osamu the rest of the course. unfortunately his attempts make no difference, since osamu seems to have the right powerups at the right times(or, in atsumu's opinion, the wrong ones at the wrong times) and he's able to defend his place.

(the first occurrence of this, even with atsumu's newfound determination, comes when they hit the airborne part of the course in the first lap. osamu has 3 green shells circling him, and he throws one behind him as he enters the air. atsumu, now in 9th place to osamu's 8th- he moves up after using a red shell against baby peach(he yells _"deserved!"_ rather excitedly as he regains his position)- takes the hit directly, and daisy falls off the edge. lakitu places him back on the course, taking 3 of his coins for the service, leaving atsumu with 4, and daisy sits dizzy at the edge of the jump just long enough for koopa troopa behind her to drive through and knock her off the edge again, inkling boy passing her at the same time. atsumu has one coin remaining as he grumbles about the game being rigged against him, and as he hits the air, finally successfully moving forward in the course, he's in 11th place.)

(the next is in the water section of the course in their second lap. osamu has successfully retained 8th up until this point, and atsumu, with the help of a bullet bill powerup, is able to catch him, landing in 9th and hot on his heels. _"i'm here for yer position,"_ he says, and osamu asks, _"oh yeah?"_ the word, _"yeah,"_ doesn't have time to make it off atsumu's lips before osamu throws a bomb backwards and atsumu loses the coin he had left. he doesn't lose 9th, because koopa troopa gets caught in the blast as well, but he growls swears at osamu under his breath as daisy begins to move again.)

(the final time, and the crushing blow to atsumu's confidence in taking more points from the second race, he pulls into 9th, not directly behind osamu, in 7th, but close enough to apply pressure. he presses ZL to activate his invincibility star from the item boxes he just passed through, laughing triumphantly as nothing happens. his laugh fades into curses as someone else's ghost powerup swaps his invincibility star for a banana, which he throws instantly, fuming. his eyes flick to osamu's half of the screen, who moves forward in rainbow colours, having just activated an invincibility powerup, and atsumu wonders if murder is legal in special cases, like if your brother is a total dickhead. it probably isn't, but he comes close to finding out.)

-

atsumu's attempts prove unfortunately futile, and he finishes 10th. osamu barks out a laugh, his screen showing that he's finished in 7th. atsumu's point total is 5, and he's in 11th on the leader board. osamu's is 11, and he's very confident that this makes him the best player in the cup. his 8th on the leader board does not seem to agree, but he's adamant, and atsumu isn't allowed to refute his claim or osamu will call him stupid names. 

_"i'm gonna crush ya on this next course, 'samu."_

atsumu chooses his famous last words well as _rainbow road- n64_ loads in on the screen. 

_"fuck,"_ is said at the same time as _"shit!"_ as the boys groan.

full-on sweating but refusing to show it, atsumu turns to his brother.

_"at least it isn't another wario course?"_

osamu glares at him. 

_"there aren't any other wario courses, dumbass."_

bowser overheats as osamu slams down the A button from the start of the countdown. daisy's start, on the other hand, is slow, but she doesn't overheat- this is an improvement, whether or not it's because atsumu presses down on the A button before the countdown begins, and so the game doesn't register that he's even done it. atsumu yells triumphantly- _"i told ya i'd beat yer bitchass!"_ and he goes through the first speed boost on the course. he goes far faster than he's expecting, but somehow stays on the track, and he hits the next speed boost with a newfound confidence in his playing skills. osamu hisses at him, and atsumu's grin turns evil, not that the two brothers aren't too focused on the screen to realise. 

when atsumu hits the first jump, he loses attention on daisy, instead turning his eyes to the train at the top of the course. daisy rams into one of the walls at the edge of the course and osamu laughs as he takes atsumu's surprisingly high 6th place, proceeding to fall off the course as soon as he turns to look mockingly at his brother. 

with this, atsumu reclaims 6th place. osamu grumbles as lakitu takes 3 of his coins, leaving him with 2, and placing him back on the track in 9th place. 

_"fuckin' unfair!"_

atsumu's only response is in a wide grin, but he focuses his attention on the screen in order to keep his high position and win against osamu. 

_"we're not doin' super shit,"_

that's the last thing that either of them say before the entire course goes to shit for them both. atsumu falls off the course 6 times- _"the train is very interestin'!"_ and _"where the fuck did that fuckin' shell come from?"_ \- and osamu suffers relentless attacks from oddly accurate green shells for the entire course( _"they're fuckin' hackin'!"_. atsumu responds eloquently with, _"they're fuckin' bots, 'samu, they can't hack, are you fuckin' thick?"_ ).

(osamu, by the end of the race, is fuming. he feels he's been dealt a great injustice- that the gods saw him beating atsumu to shreds at mario kart 8 deluxe, and decided that he was too far in the lead, and had to suffer for his own brilliance. _"forgive me, i'm beggin'! it's not my fault he's shit!"_ he yells, falling to his knees. atsumu gives him an odd look, oblivious to osamu's internal monologue. osamu is unable to convey the sincerity of the emotions it carries. he doesn't have the proper flair for dramatics, he just knows that he's been done wrong.)

atsumu cheers upon his finish. he beats osamu by one place- ending in 11th. osamu shouts loudly as his screen displays the finished message as he turns the final bend toward the finish line, his red shell prepared and his finger hovered over the ZL button to throw it at atsumu and reclaim the title of the brother who is better at mario kart. he feels as though hope has been lost, despite the leader board displaying that he's still beating atsumu, 12 points to his brother's 7. 

the two brothers, entirely distraught- osamu about losing to atsumu, and atsumu about how he can't see the train again- turn to look at each other. the most in sync they've been all evening, all they have to say is, 

_"fuck rainbow road,"_

and that seems like it's all they need to say.

(even if they say it completely differently- osamu has tears welling up in his eyes, the sheer injustice of the clearly hacked computer players allowing atsumu to beat him hitting him in full force, right over his heart, where it really hurts. he feels as though he's been kicked in the face by levi ackerman for a week straight. upon realising this simile, he quickly feels at his gums, to ensure that he still has all of his teeth. once he is satisifed that he definitely does- he carries out a full headcount- he returns to wallowing about his 12th place. atsumu, on the other hand, has wonder in his eyes. the train was truly very nicely animated, and he feels as though he'll never recover from his imminent loss- which he is no closer to accepting, despite how clear it appears to be- unless he sees the mario kart 8 deluxe rainbow road n64 course train at least once more. it was, honestly, a wonderful train. atsumu considers briefly the cost of building a shrine, then realises that kiyoomi would clown him for the rest of ever if he ever discovered his oddly specific train shrine. it suddenly doesn't feel like it'd be worth it, not even if he's extremely attached to the train. wiping an imaginary tear from his eye, he sends a prayer to the gods to ask them to convey his love of the train to the developers. he can neither confirm nor deny whether they receive it without the presence of a lawyer. if the evidence given were a very brightly coloured and sparkly note that says _i fuckin' love your train_ , he wouldn't know what to say.) 

-

_"okay. what's the last course?"_

_"i don't fuckin' know, asswipe."_

atsumu turns to osamu, angry that he would ever assume atsumu would go out of his way to speak to him. 

(he ignores the blatant fact that he's the one who bugged osamu to play this game with him, and focuses instead on the absurdity of osamu's assumption, and maybe on the fact that he should definitely get both himself and kiyoomi a nintendo online subscription, so he never has to endure this hell again. refer to the earlier point in this paragraph for something about this that he, yet again, makes a point not to think about.)

_"i wasn't fuckin' talkin' to ya!"_

_"then who were ya talkin' to?"_

_"the fuckin' switch!"_

_"ya were talkin' to the switch?"_

_"yeah! ya don't do that?"_

_"no? sorry for bein' mentally stable and not talkin' to inanimate objects, or somethin'?"_

_"yer mentally stable? fuckin' prove it."_

both brothers are clearly confused at this point. ( _"since when was my brother mentally stable?"_ atsumu asks suna on call later that evening, who answers him by hanging up. he makes noises of protest and tries to call him back before realising that the calls won't go through because suna has blocked him.)(osamu, alternatively, is put out by the fact that atsumu is questioning his stability, as though _he_ was the one out of the two of them who spent at least a week listening to purely hatsune miku on loop. atsumu claimed he was following the word of god, but osamu thinks he was following the word of some mysterious unknown deity who should most definitely remain both mysterious and unknown. though, he couldn't deny that he added _world is mine_ to his playlist after hearing it too many times. he can't help that it grew on him, though he could definitely have helped looking around vocaloid afterwards and getting far too invested in the ways that kagamine len consistently dies. osamu finds a thrill in the mundane things. but he won't apologise for having taste.)

_"nah, i don't wanna."_

_"fuckin' pussy."_

their arguing is cut short by the final course. _mount wario,_ it reads.

_"so much for 'there's no more wario courses, dumbass', huh, 'samu?"_

atsumu's grin is wide and osamu, suddenly realising the time, doesn't have the energy to come up with some stupid snarky comment to return back to atsumu. 

the course loads in and the countdown starts. atsumu, testing a theory, doesn't hold down the A button as soon as he can. instead, nervous but confident in himself, he waits until the "2" appears on the screen. he pushes down hard as ever when it shows up, and osamu notices their time difference.

_"yer gettin' slow,"_

he mocks, but his eyes widen as bowser overheats and in contrast, daisy gets a speed boost, racing onto the course better than either of them have ever done.

_"yer fuckin' hackin'!"_

_"i did one thing better than ya and now i'm hackin'? ya can't always win, dumbass, let the more attractive twin have somethin' for once."_

osamu splutters his protests at the implication that of the two of them, atsumu is more attractive, but is forced to focus on the screen as atsumu properly starts the race in 5th place, while osamu is in 10th.

(atsumu thinks that it serves him right for being so rude about his fantastic theory, which has now been proven correct. what can he say, it isn't his fault that he was blessed with intelligence as well as looks. if anyone were to ask him why he thinks he's better looking when he and osamu are identical twins, he would correct them- _"i know i'm hotter than that bastard. how i'm better lookin'? i just am. couldn't help it."_ )

miraculously, atsumu stays in 5th. when a red shell is thrown at him from link in 6th, he hits an item box, and he presses ZL just in time to hold it behind him and not take the shot. when he reaches the second lap, link, still in 6th, approaches him from behind surrounded by green shells. atsumu, playing oddly well, manages to avoid him, manoeuvring his way around the coins as link, just to his right, falls through a gap in the track and has to be lifted back up by lakitu. 

meanwhile, osamu is still falling off the course, on his first lap.

_"why the fuck is it so fuckin' slippy? how the fuck are you actually doin' okay?"_

atsumu laughs, and turns to look at osamu just a little(not enough to break his concentration, which osamu notices and mentally curses). 

_"it's a fuckin' winter course, 'course it's slippy, dumbass."_

he strikes gold as osamu goes airborne in his second lap over the water part of the course. he hits a speed boost, but atsumu is by the logs. the two computer players in 1st and 2nd- baby peach( _"when the fuck did she get so good?"_ osamu wails, _"we were level a couple courses ago! now this shit?"_ ) and dry bones- are next to each other, not far in front of him. atsumu is in a small cluster with cat peach and metal mario, who are in 3rd and 4th, and he keeps coming close but never overtaking. that is, until one of the players further back- behind osamu, so atsumu figures it was either koopa troopa or inkling boy( _"i'm surprised there's even two players behind yer shit kart,"_ atsumu teases, and osamu growls, _"ya were doin' even worse than i was, before!"_ atsumu speaks as though he has the wisdom of one who has lived a thousand years as he says, dead serious, _"that was before, 'samu. this is now."_ and osamu is left to wonder when the fuck he planned that in his head), but whoever it was doesn't matter- sends a blue shell.

from there it's smooth sailing for atsumu. he jumps the logs and shakes his remote to get a speed boost, picking up coins as he goes. cat peach falls back and atsumu takes 4th after she gets hit by the blue shell, travelling along the ground past them. atsumu watches the blue shell detonate in front of him, baby peach taking the hit directly and dry bones getting caught in the blast- just barely, but he still takes damage( _"thank ya for yer contribution to my win, solider,"_ atsumu sniffles, _"i'll remember ya."_ ). and somehow atsumu ends up in 3rd, dry bones recovering quickly and taking the 1st that baby peach had, metal mario staying just in front of atsumu. 

_"how the fuck did ya end up in fuckin' third?"_

osamu is incredulous as he speaks. when atsumu speaks he sounds choked up, and osamu wonders if he's really about to cry, but with the dire situation that bowser is in- 11th place, with inkling boy close behind him- he doesn't have the liberty of looking away to check.

 _"fuckin' fate,"_ says atsumu, and osamu laughs aloud, mentally confirming that atsumu is definitely crying. _"the gods knew i was destined to kick yer ass,"_

he sounds genuine, and osamu would hate to hurt his feelings, so just this once he chooses not to(definitely not because being called a rintarou kinnie is fresh in his mind still- not that he dislikes his boyfriend at all, but he can't deny that atsumu is right when he says osamu's been picking things up from him, and he's got to be original if he wants to be better than atsumu based on his own merits, instead of his boyfriend's. an idea for another life, maybe). 

atsumu battles with metal mario for 2nd place, eventually securing it as daisy gets 3 green shells and slams into him, sending him spinning as she speeds ahead. 

_"i'm fuckin' god, or somethin',"_

atsumu's voice is full of wonder and awe(of himself, and osamu curses him in his head for being such a self-obsessed prick, especially when he's kind of funny- a fact that is hard to accept when he's so goddamn annoying). he's completely oblivious to the suffering that osamu is enduring, now in 10th place, his only saving grace the triple banana powerup that he just picked up from an item box(as well as, naturally, his exemplar dodging skills) as inkling boy continues to fire off green shells. 

one such shell that osamu dodges during his second lap ricochets off the trees in front of him and osamu almost screams, button mashing intensely and shaking his controller insistently to avoid the shell. he mentally says a prayer as he realises that they have motion controls off and all his button mashing is doing is wasting the powerups he has(though, a single banana and a coin aren't ones that he thinks he'll miss), and to his absolute delight, it hits inkling boy.

_"deserved!"_

he yells with glee, and atsumu, in front of the finish line, turns to look at his screen. metal mario takes this opportunity to attempt to overtake him, but atsumu, ever forceful with whatever victories he can take, uses the mushroom powerup that he has, and finishes seconds before metal mario. 

his mouth curls up into a grin, and, ignorant of osamu's ongoing match, descends into triumphant yells. 

_"this is the best fuckin' day of my life! i got fuckin' second, 'samu! did ya see that? i got second! this is amazin'! i've gotta tell omi-kun, and- oh my god, alexa play fancy by twice."_

as their amazon alexa perks up, the intro chords to fancy by twice- as atsumu had asked for- begin to play, and osamu drives over the finish line, placing 9th. his head is in his hands, resigning himself to his loss as nayeon begins to sing. leaning back into his chair, his face turns blank, and he lets the rhythm of fancy carry him into sleep.

or as close to sleep as he can get with atsumu holding a frantic and excited phone call with sakusa in the kitchen- which isn't that close. atsumu sounds on the verge of tears, but at least it means he isn't really crying anymore. 

_"omi-kun! omi-kun, i came second!"_

atsumu never turns his calls off speaker, and so osamu can hear both sides of the conversation.

_"atsu, i'm very happy for you, but it's 1 in the morning and i have a headache."_

_"omi-kun, are ya callin' me a headache?"_

osamu, who's known atsumu for many years longer than he wishes he could say, can hear the pout in atsumu's voice. he doesn't need to see it to know that it's there, because years of growing up and atsumu using it to get what he wants( _"gosh, i can't believe atsumu is the older one of your boys! he's just so cute!"_ ). 

_"yeah?"_

_"'m hurt!"_

osamu enters the kitchen to find atsumu raiding their cupboards, probably for some form of celebratory snack that he feels he's earned after his 2nd place- it isn't even a 1st, but osamu supposes that he doesn't get to say that when he hasn't placed higher than 4th in his entire history of playing(a very long time). 

no words to say, he lays on the floor. the tiling is cold and he shivers against it, but resigns himself to what he has started, and doesn't get up. fancy is equally as loud as it was in the living room, where their final scores are now displayed- atsumu with 19 points( _12_ of which are from his final race, osamu notes, incredulous), placing 7th overall, one point behind link( _"fuck link, that bastard! all my homies fuckin' hate link."_ ). osamu has 16 points, and he places 9th on the leader board. he doesn't think about it too much. the more he does, the more it hurts. he isn't ready to deal with genuine emotional pain over mario kart 8 deluxe at 1am(but also in general). 

_"oh, hey, 'samu."_

atsumu stands over him as fancy hits the chorus. the scene must look very confusing to anyone who doesn't know the twins well, osamu laying completely still, almost lifelessly so, on the floor, while atsumu dances to fancy by twice next to him, no concern for his health. 

_"who's playing fancy?"_

kiyoomi sounds very confused from the other end of the call, and atsumu gasps, rushing over to the phone, stars in his eyes.

_"i knew ya had taste, omi-kun!"_

he blows kisses into the receiver, and though kiyoomi doesn't respond verbally to address that in particular, atsumu knows that anybody would be blessed to receive phone call kissy noises from him. he's genuinely fantastic, and though kiyoomi never vocalises it, atsumu is pretty confident that he, too, knows this fact.

kiyoomi hums along at the other end of the line, weirdly tuneful- atsumu wonders why he didn't say he could sing, or at least be vaguely in tune(atsumu definitely struggles with both, and most everyone who knows him is well aware of this, so he's borderline hurt that he wasn't informed), though he supposes that at 1am, kiyoomi is just too tired to know he's doing it. 

_"hey, i love you!"_

atsumu falls onto the floor, clutching at his chest. kiyoomi's english is pretty cute, and he sounds really sweet over the other end of the line, even if atsumu knows that he's just singing along to the song. 

_"is that the only line ya know, omi-kun?"_

_"yeah."_

atsumu smiles widely.

_"if it weren't late and i weren't a fuckin' pussy, i'd come over to tokyo to kiss yer cute face and give ya cuddles, omi-kun. i'm gonna keep playin' fancy, now i know ya like it."_

kiyoomi groans, and so does osamu. his twin's is a little more exaggerated, and he makes fake throwing up noises.

_"didn't mean to interrupt yer gay phone call with yer boyfriend, 'tsumu. i'm goin' back to bed."_

_"yer gay too, ya dumbfuck! and rest up, suna kinnie, yer gonna need it for the next time i kick yer fuckin' ass at mario kart!"_

osamu groans from the hallway.

_"i don't kin rin!"_

-

osamu wakes up to two unread messages, surprisingly from his boyfriend.

 **rin!!:** i heard you lost to atsumu at mario kart

 **rin!!:** let's break up

he texts back with a smile on his face.

 **samu <3:** nah

making his way into the kitchen, he groans again(he feels like he's been doing that a lot lately, even if he hasn't really. he hopes it doesn't become a habit, but if it does, he'll blame atsumu, because that's easy). atsumu stands in full chef's attire, kitted out with a chef's hat, an apron and an exaggerated fake moustache(osamu is pretty sure this is drawn on, and he thinks back to that time he replaced the cartridges in their marker pens with the ones from their permanent markers, briefly wondering if they ever got switched back). he's making pancakes and osamu offers a silent prayer for their kitchenware to the gods before making his way over to his twin to see what he's doing.

he leaves the room. atsumu is making princess daisy themed pancakes. 

atsumu's phone rings. he's changed his ringtone to fancy( _"fuckin' simp,"_ says osamu, simply, and atsumu growls at him. _"he likes the song and so do i! there's no fuckin' problem! yer just mad 'cause yer boyfriend doesn't listen to good music!"_ osamu shrugs his shoulders and apologises mentally to rintarou for being unable to defend his honour. _"_ _his taste isn't shit, that's good enough for me,"_ and atsumu calls him a settler. when osamu starts to exaggeratedly tell atsumu that _aww, he does like him really!_ , atsumu furrows his eyebrows and says, _"the only thing that ya got on him is yer music, and the fact that sometimes yer less of a bully than he is."_ ) and osamu groans on hearing it. he gets the feeling he'll hear it so much it'll make him throw up in the next few days.

his phone pings.

 **rin!!:** okay. just for you

 **samu <3: **aww, are you secretly soft for me?

 **rin!!:** no. just decided ive got to beat you at mario kart next

 **rin!!:** i cant lose to ATSUMU 

**samu <3: **it was a fuckin fluke on his part. how dare you say this to me

 **rin!!:** a fluke win is still a win, dumbass

 **samu <3: **fuck you

**[you can no longer reply to this number. see more...]**

_"tsumu! can ya ring rin and get him to unblock me?"_

his yell echoes through the house. the response he gets back is unhelpful; _"he blocks me every other day, dumbass! just wait and he'll unblock ya eventually!"_

fuck mario kart. 

osamu sighs and pulls on a shirt, preparing to go over to rintarou's house to apologise. it's not a serious apology, so he decides to buy a single rose, which he'll hastily discard as he comes under rintarou's disapproving stare( _"you know i have hayfever, dumbass. it's july."_ to which osamu will respond, _"ya do? oh man, i forgot! wait, wait, wait, don't close the door, i'm kiddin', i'm sorry!"_ it's a scene they've played out more than once, but it stays funny, at least to osamu). 

**Author's Note:**

> i really almost had this fic with no trans characters but my brain said "no. kiyoomi is trans" and im a slave to that bitch cz theyre terrible but theyre the source of all my inspo smh. so kiyoomi is trans in this even though it's only really implied cz hes on his period n stuff  
> at least half the word content for this fic are the words "atsumu", "osamu" and "course" im sorry jaskdjhf  
> ps ik you cant have randomised cups in mk8 but it used to be like that in mario kart wii i think and i miss that feature so now it's here. also they argue over the best course but the best one is thwomp ruins. im right.  
> psps if you wanna yell ab the miya twins w me you can add me on discord(if you want) im @miya osamu#7408 my other one has privacy settings lol  
> anyway! have a good day/evening! sleep well or smn!  
> -kye(??)


End file.
